FRAMINGHAM (02/02/2000) - To mark the birth of our first child last year, my husband and I-like many new parents throughout the ages-were the recipients of gifts from friends and relatives far and wide. Some of these were traditional, with a long history in the annals of the baby shower. We received a multitude of baby clothes and a handmade baby quilt, for example-necessities to help us keep the new child protected and warm. We received books and toys, sure to help educate and entertain her. We even received a special monogrammed plate to mark the date and time of her arrival, a memento that has been a tradition in our family for years and that would help her take her place among us. But we also received two gifts that made us take pause. These gifts were the product of a different era, the fruits of an industry younger than our parents. These gifts could only be described as information technology.
The items I'm referring to are a software package designed specifically for babies-yes, you heard me right-and a PC video camera. Not, by any means, what we were expecting. But that's what made them so interesting.
The baby software-referred to affectionately by those who promote it as "lapware"-purports to offer parents a way to provide their children with stimulation, interaction and early exposure to the PC. The thinking, apparently, is that infants and parents will use the software together, while the child sits on the parent's lap. Activities include naming, sorting and sing-alongs, all of which are presented by a "cuddly" onscreen teddy bear.
It's not hard to guess why parents are shelling out some significant toy money on these products (between January and October of last year, they spent almost $1 million on baby software, according to PC Data Inc., a Reston, Va.-based research company that tracks the industry; sales of software for toddlers, meanwhile, exceeded $10 million).
In our overcrowded, highly competitive world, kids can use all the help they can get in the struggle to succeed-or so these parents must figure. Indeed, "Boomer parents are taking every step they can to make sure their kids are prepared for Harvard right out of the womb," Robin Raskin, editor in chief of Family PC magazine, recently told The New York Times.
At the same time, it's not at all clear that these products fulfill that promise. A recent report by the American Academy of Pediatrics argues that children should not be exposed to TV, movies or computers at all before the age of two. Direct interaction with caregivers, the report said, is what young children need for proper development.
But what does this trend say about our society? Besides reflecting our competitiveness and our fear of failure-whether our own or that of our children-one could argue that it is a symptom of our chronic lack of time.
Given the ever-decreasing leisure time we are able to spend with our children, we feel pressured to make the most of what we do have; rather than "waste" that time on simple games and activities, we hope to maximize the value of that time to our children by way of information technology.
The assumption there, of course, is that information technology can somehow provide value that we ourselves can't. Anything computerized, we seem to feel, must be more valuable than anything that isn't. The technology that was originally a means to an end has now become an end in itself.
Perhaps more troubling, though, is the fact that we have so little time to spend with our children in the first place. Our lives are so frenzied that raising the next generation has become one more element of our lives in which we rely on technology to do "more with less."
As for the PC video camera we received, the friend who gave it to us offered this by way of explanation: "Now your families will be able to watch your daughter grow up in person!"
Now, it is true that our families are widely dispersed, so visiting is not a matter of driving just over hill and down dale. In many ways, the gift was an inspired idea, for it would in fact provide one more means of contact when distances made personal visits impossible. But somehow, the gift struck a very sad chord in my heart. By substituting a technological connection for a personal one, we're devaluing the very bonds we're trying to maintain. With so many IT-based means of keeping in touch-telephone, e-mail and now video connections-personal visits start to seem a little less imperative. Once again, the technology that was once a means is slowly becoming an end.
Has technology affected your family life? Tell us how at difference@cio.com.