Why you'll never see a real 'Zune phone'

A rumor circulating says Microsoft will unveil a Zune phone at CES. Most columnists and bloggers who mentioned it said Microsoft should not build a Zune phone, but probably will.

My view is that Microsoft should sell a Zune phone, but probably won't.

Why? Because the company simple doesn't have the vision to build something really great in the consumer electronics space.

The Zune phone rumor

When the Zune-phone-at-CES rumor hit, bloggers and pundits speculated that the company would target Apple, which people think created a phone based on the iPod (in fact, they did the reverse). Commentators initially imagined a phone that looks and works like one of the larger hard-disk based Zunes, but with mobile phone functionality.

That idea fizzled when Microsoft Zune Group Manager Brian Seitz told Gizmodo that no Zune phone will be unveiled at CES.

Now the rumor-monger consensus is that Microsoft will instead unveil a project code-name "Pink," which is software that puts Zune functionality on a Windows Mobile device, including the playing of media and easy access to the Zune Marketplace.

Another popular idea is that Microsoft will unveil a Danger Sidekick device at CES that's all Pinked out and sold as a music phone. Microsoft acquired Danger earlier this year.

Either way, the addition of Zune-like software to existing phones doesn't add up to a bona fide Zune phone.

What's wrong with a Zune ' iPhone killer'?

The idea that Microsoft would jam mobile phone electronics into one of its larger Zunes, then compete head-to-head with the iPhone, ignores the categorical difference between devices like the iPod Touch and the Zune.

Most people agree that the iPhone user interface is "better" than, say, the UI on RIM BlackBerries or Palm Treos. But you can't understand what's great about the iPhone unless you also understand that it has a categorically better UI, not just a qualitatively better one.

The iPhone is a third-generation UI device. (No, I'm not talking about 3G mobile broadband, which is unrelated to the user interface of the device.) The first generation was the command line. The second generation was the WIMP (windows, icons, menus and pointing device) UI, which still exists on Windows Vista and Mac OS X Leopard. The iPod classic and all Zunes, as well as all other media players, have WIMP user interfaces.

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The iPhone was revolutionary because it was built around the world's first-ever, publicly available third-generation user interface. Other examples of this UI include Microsoft's Surface table-top PC and, CNN's election-coverage "Magic Wall."

This third-generation UI involves multi-touch, of course, and also gestures (shapes you draw on screen send commands to the system), physics (objects move as if they have mass and momentum), 3-D and the minimization of menus. Within five years, all new PCs running either Windows or the Mac OS will have this kind of UI, and the mouse will become a thing of the past.

So comparing the Zune UI to the iPod Touch UI isn't like comparing AM radio to FM radio. It's like comparing radio to television.

The idea that Microsoft would simply build mobile phone electronics into a big Zune and try to compete with Apple is truly absurd and would be a lousy idea. Microsoft is better off supporting its handset partners with its Windows Mobile OS, rather than embarrassing itself with an "iPhone killer" that ends up only killing itself.

The ' insanely great ' Zune phone you'll never see

The reason the iPhone shocked the handset market and rocketed to the number-one handset make-and-model in the world is that the iPhone introduced a totally new way to use a mobile phone. The third-generation UI really was different, and everyone loves something new and exhilarating.

The iPhone is great, but it's not perfect. In fact, it's pretty big and clumsy to hold, gets horrible battery life and often gets poor 3G reception. These flaws represent opportunities for Microsoft.

Microsoft could and should build a Zune phone, and one that introduces a totally new way to use a phone. Instead of an "iPhone killer," Microsoft could sell an "anti-iPhone" using the Zune form factor. No, not the big, iPhone-sized, hard-disk-based Zune form factor. The tiny flash-based Zune 16.

The Zune is in fact pretty cool. The player has a bad reputation mainly because Apple iPods are so great and so dominant. It's like being the second best golfer after Tiger Woods. You're almost the best in the world but nobody cares.

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The Flash-based Zune is smaller than the smallest major smart phone (the BlackBerry Pearl). It has just three controls on the front. A small Back button, an equally small Play/Pause button and a very large Zune pad, which is a touchpad that works also as a physical button. These buttons control the Zune user interface, which is a lot like the Windows Media Center UI.

Zune's minimalist controls are plenty for a phone, especially one augmented by voice commands.

Microsoft co-founder and Chairman Bill Gates is constantly talking about how voice command is the future of computing. He's been saying this for years. I'd like to see him shut up about it and actually ship something.

A primarily voice-based Zune would launch the Zune phone into an alternative future, an alternative to the third-generation UI future envisioned by Apple.

Such a Zune phone would be an ideal alternative to the iPhone-inspired universe of giant, clumsy phones with poor battery life. Because of its small screen and simplicity, such a phone should get two or three days of use -- much better than the iPhone's.

Unfortunately, this vision of the Zune phone -- a sleek, simple, functional phone -- is one you'll never see from Microsoft, because the company just doesn't do sleek, simple and functional.

The most likely Zune phone, or "Pink" or "Danger-like" phone-centric CES announcement will be more of what Microsoft has been giving us for years: a confusing muddle of bloated initiatives nobody wants.

Too bad. I'd love a real Zune phone.

Mike Elgan writes about technology and global tech culture. Contact Mike at mike.elgan@elgan.com , follow him on Twitter or his blog, The Raw Feed.