Stories by Robert X. Cringely

Did MS Blaster crash the power grid?

Between power outages and worm scares, I've been too busy to sleep, bathe, or buy food. Apache has eaten everything in the house and is now gnawing old copies of Accidental Empires. That dog can stomach anything.

NOTES FROM THE FIELD: I, clairvoyant (not)

Some days, Amber agrees with my clairvoyance; others she thinks I'm just plain blind. But one of my predictions, which came way back in January of this year, appears to be gathering steam. I refer to a recent poll by Leger Marketing in Montreal that found that four out of 10 Americans think Canada ought to become state 51.

Software giant looks to bury test results

Microsoft recently threw around its weight -- and its fat wallet -- to squash an independent testing lab from publishing benchmark results that the lab ran for Computerworld's sister publication NetworkWorld. The test demonstrated that SQL Server 7 runs nearly twice as fast on Windows NT 4.0 than it does on Windows 2000.

NOTES FROM THE FIELD: No shoes ain't so bad

After reading some of my e-mail about Verizon, Randi finally stopped complaining about AT&T Digital Cable. "It's like that expression, I was sad that I had no shoes until I met a man who had no feet'," she told me.

NOTES FROM THE FIELD: Fact is stranger than fiction

Verizon doesn't want anyone to look at Me

Verizon Doesn't Want Anyone to Look at Me

Randi and I sat in front of the old tube last week -- regular cable TV at her apartment -- watching the presidential debates and the season premiere of West Wing.

NOTES FROM THE FIELD: Miniature servers arrive

Will Randi take to wearable servers?

Miniature servers arrive

Will Randi take to wearable servers?
After hearing from several readers about how silkworms are boiled alive to harvest their silk, my peace-loving girlfriend Randi gave up on the idea of growing them as part of her back-to-nature, self-sufficiency kick.

Notes From the Field: Randi Wants a Sheep Farm

Randi is back from her llama farm visit, full of the joys of nature. "Let's turn our backs on all this technology, Bobby, and buy a farm somewhere," she suggested. "You could rear sheep, and I could make sweaters out of the wool. We could be self-sufficient."

NOTES FROM THE FIELD: Where's the meat?

Randi thanks all of you who sent me tips on how to make disgusting tofu burgers more palatable. I tried the Tabasco, the cheese, the ketchup, and all the rest, but still, the McDonald's drive-thru calls out to me, "Bobby, you are a meat eater. Don't listen to that vegetation-eating vixen."

Ex-Microsoft Employees Report Unix Is All Around

Former Oracle Corp. No. 2 man Ray Lane has surfaced again, and Randi took great pleasure in reading an interview with him in the local paper in which he talks about how he is taking more time for his family, including a toddler and another baby on the way.

Where's the meat?

Randi went too far with her campaign to turn me into a carrot-chewing vegetarian last week. She cooked me one of those fake burgers that are actually made of tofu.
The whole concept of processing vegetable matter to make it resemble meat seems dumb to me: Anyone who gives up meat won't be satisfied by artificial attempts to re-create its texture and flavour.

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